Poetry
The Wellness Works Initiative is sponsored by the National Empowerment Center
All work copyright © 2012 by the author.
TRAPPED
By Jannae Ahmed
TRAPPED……WHERE IS MY ESCAPE?
WHEN IS MY RELEASE?
HOPELESS AND TORMENTED, SCREAMS THAT WON’T CEASE!
I GLANCE TO MY SIDE, BOTH SIDES… THROUGH THE CORNERS OF MY EYES!
I CAN’T SEEM TO ERASE THE THOUGHTS AND DECEITFULLNESS OF LIES!
LIKE AN ARMY THEY ARRIVE AND INVADE MY SPACE
THERE IS NO EVIDENCE….. NOT A TRACE
SOME LOOK AT ME AND WONDER WHO I AM AND WHERE I CAME FROM?
WHAT CAUSED THIS TRAGEDY……. HOW DID I COME UNDONE?
THEY RUSH TO FIND MY DIAGNOSIS
WHEN THEY LOOK AT ME THEY THINK I’M ATROCIOUS
SOME HAVE A HEART AND PATIENCE TO GIVE
OTHERS ARE COLD AND CALOUS, THEY DON’T REALLY CARE IF I LIVE!
THEY NO NOT MY LIFE NOR UNDERSTAND
THE STRUGGLE OF MY DEMONS, THE PAIN I CARRY IN MY HANDS
THERE IS AN ANSWER AND IT FLOWS FROM ABOVE
WE ARE NOTHING IN THIS LIFE IF WE DON’T OPERATE WITH GOD’S LOVE.
PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME, WITH EACH PERSON YOU MEET
AS THOUGH THEY WERE ROYALTY…. GIVE THEM YOUR SEAT
A ROAD LESS TRAVELED, NOT OFTEN AND FEW
ANSWER THE CALL WHEN TRUTH SPEAKS TO YOU!
The Downfall
By Victor Anonymous
Regression from Depression falling into the Past
This Country’s downfall is coming at last
Bad Vibrations is all I can conceive
Who is there left that I can Believe?
A mass of confusion is all I Behold
Everyone’s changing, their hearts turning cold
Is there no disgrace of feeling of shame?
Whatever happened to American’s name?
You can exile, deport me I don’t care
All I know is I don’t want to stay
For fighting and killing there is no excuse
Just using your power as a tool of abuse
I cannot conform to this criminal way
So you call me a traitor and lock me away
My body you have taken because that is my fate
But you can’t touch my mind and that’s what you hate
Yes I see the truth living straight ahead
And I know that soon we’ll all be dead
Cause all living things must eventually die
And I see the downfall through tears of pity I cry.
Hanging On
By Steve Bell
A change of wardrobe
Or more accurately
A time of uncertain nakedness
Our souls, partially hidden
Imperfections
Lay bare.
Once our summer attire
Drops to the floor
And our restless thoughts
Twist with anxiety
In the wind,
We shiver.
Unlike our more worthy sisters
And brethren
Who guard the mountain shadows
Wrapped in pine-nutty green
We fight the wind before snowfall
And lose.
A time of cold reflection has begun.
We can do nothing to cover
Our ugliness
Bending low to retrieve our garments
Is futile.
Yet tree-blood still flows, congealing
In our veins and our arms still
reach toward the sky
It takes a moment to weep
A lifetime to hope
Three months, six
To wear this impractical outfit
Nothing left but
To embrace and endure the white,
For a season, standing patiently,
This moment,
Right now.
We’re All In This Together!
A song of community dialogue
By Barbara Belton
“Songs of Friendship”
We’re all in this together
We remind ourselves each day
In the laughing and the crying
We find healing along the way
In community with partners
We hold the vision of a time
When forgiveness is the standard
We use to see the rhyme
For reason cannot answer
When the heart is grieving so
It’s the spirit that calls us forward
And the soul that says let go
Of a past that holds us hostage
To a future we’ve defined
With limits that do not serve us
In our quest for joy filled minds
So once again I thank you
For reminding me, my friends
We’re all in this together
From the beginning to the end.
Clozarilville
Rene Buchanan
There’s a town I was a prisoner in –
It’s not on any map.
I’m sure it’s not a place you’ve been,
Unless by some mishap;
Which is how it one day came to be
That for many a forgotten year,
I lived, not with serenity,
But with paralyzing fear.
This town is called Clozarilville.
It’s quite a strange place where
You lose almost all your will.
About little are you aware.
Sometimes I tried to tell the pair
Who imprisoned me in this town
That I really wanted to leave there,
But they flatly turned me down.
And so I lived there long enough
To forget from whence I came.
I forgot all sorts of stuff.
I often forgot my name.
During this time, my home I lost.
Now, don’t feel too much surprise.
There’s often a tremendous cost
When from slumber you can’t arise.
One day, in fact, I fell asleep.
It was really quite astounding.
I was standing on my feet
With the shower water pounding.
Now, you’d think my doctor would have said
This really wasn’t normal.
But, alas, she just turned her head
Lest she do something moral.
Many other incidents
Happened in Clozarilville.
None of them made much sense.
Most I am amazed at still –
Like the fact that I still drove a car
Even though my lights were off;
But someone must have been from afar
Tenderly holding me aloft –
Until fin’ly one day I did awaken
From my coma so dark and dreary.
My faith, though, had been shaken.
Of recovery, I was leery.
Even so, I knew that I belonged
In a much, much happier place;
And so, although I had been wronged,
I escaped and sought my own space.
It took me quite a long, long while
To find from whence I came;
But I finally arrived in style,
And absolutely nothing’s been the same;
For after being led astray,
I’ve thankfully learned that I
Don’t have to obey all they say
Without questioning why.
What recovery means to me
By Judy R. Cline
To me Recovery means having a goal to be able to feel more self-confident.
I have been struggling
with Major Depression ever since I was about twenty-three years of age.
I am now about forty-eight
years old.
My faith in God also helps me to be able to cope with my illness by offering me hope that it
will get better.
Jesus knows what it is like to feel depressed because during His time here on this
earth I believe He experienced just about every kind of human emotion imaginable.
Depression and
anxiety are both evil spirits that try to torment people and the way to recover from it is to say I rebuke it in the name of Jesus.
God sent us His son Jesus to give us His life on the cross that we might.
have life eternal and God does have the power to transform people’s lives.
God is all knowing , all
powerful and ever present.
God’s gift of salvation is free to all those who believe.
“Waking Up”—Ai Chi poem
By Patti Crimer
I am dreaming of “Ai Chi for me” & thee-
So the journey to wellness has begun,
Activities for wellness is easy to see.
“Ai Chi for me” is the road to balance, harmony & healing-
For thee I can only hope that you experience this feeling.
The warmth of the water is soothing to the Bodymind,
And for many people in certain populations this is a real find.
We begin by contemplating and settling our breathing-
Let go, let God and begin to feel what’s bothering you leaving.
It is so nice to float in bodymind, yet your feet stay connected to the earth-
All the while strengthening the girth.
Continue to let go and float—the bodymind will strengthen—
You accept with grace and lengthen.
Feeling loose and lighter the muscles stretch-
All this is for thee or me without a catch.
Recovery
By John Czernek
Recovery is something you can not do alone
Is it just as simple as picking up the phone?
It depends on your illness and no ones the same
Is it a race against time to finish the game?
It could be physical or mental or even both
Isolation or drugs is how some of us cope
Some choose a gun or even a rope
Some just give up because they have no hope
Some search for answers, some don’t know how
Some live in the past and some live in the now
Some need a push, some need a hand
Some need a shoulder, we all need a friend
So search in your heart and give it your best
Trust in your maker when you lay down to rest
And when you awake and open your eyes
Take a deep breath and look to the skies
For today is a new day, learn to live and reach out
Because were all someone special, to me there’s no doubt
Recovery is action, you cannot proceed
Acceptance is something that all of us need
Small Victories
By David D.
AWAKE AND CLEAR HEADED
READY TO FACE THE DAY AHEAD
ABLE TO REMEMBER THE DAY BEFORE
A FACE IN THE MIRROR
NO POUNDING HEAD, NO SOUR TASTE
THE DAY AWAITS
THREE HUNDRED SIXTY FIVE DAYS
TIMES FIVE YEARS
ONE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE
EACH DAY A SMALL VICTORY
THE AIR IS CLEAR AND CRISP
SUNLIGHT ILLUMINATES ALL
A SCENT OF TREES AND FLOWERS
BECOMES NOTICEABLE
ONE THOUSAND AND NINETY FIVE
TIMES TWENTY FOUR
FORTY THREE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED
EVERY HOUR A SMALL VICTORY
CELEBRATE THESE MOMENTS
LIVE THEM
EACH ONE CLEAR AND THOUGHTFUL
UNCLOUDED AND UNHINDERED
HEAR THE LAUGHTER OF CHILDREN
SHARE THE EMOTION
SHARING IS A NEW FEELING
FIVE YEARS
ONE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE DAYS
FORTY THREE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED HOURS
TWO MILLION SIX HUNDRED TWENTY EIGHT THOUSAND MINUTES
EACH MINUTE IS A SMALL VICTORY IN SOBRIETY
There Once Was a Man with Schizophrenia
By Charles Feldman
There once was a man with schizophrenia
Who said if you look within ya
Recovery you’ll find
A good part of the time
And then you’ll be glad to have been ya
Wellness, In a Word
By Mary Jo Fortes
Coming to terms with the fact
That I have a mental illness
But I am not that mental disorder.
Realizing my limitations,
As well as my strengths.
Wellness, in a word, is acceptance.
Taking hold of my own treatment
By staying informed,
Choosing the best matches
For my treatment team,
And practicing skills to offset symptoms.
Wellness, in a word, is responsibility.
Making difficult choices and sacrifices
To stay mentally healthy:
Taking my meds every day, even when I feel fine,
Maintaining a strict bedtime,
Giving up alcohol, cutting back on caffeine.
Wellness, in a word, is commitment.
A verb, meaning I am supposed to
Be active in the journey of wellness:
Involved in my treatment
And my self-help and be
Living life to the fullest.
Wellness, in a word, is action.
A change in thought processes,
Bringing motivation and positive thinking,
Learning to see the glass
Half-full, even at my lowest points,
Being my own cheering section.
Wellness, in a word, is optimism.
Trusting that I have a future
And it is not all bleak.
Knowing there will be mood swings
But not living in fear of them.
Allowing myself to plan…to dream!
Wellness, in a word, is HOPE!
Pursue More Freedom
By Z.G.
*Be Free,*
*Be Free as you can afford,*
*Then pursue more Freedom*
*If, then, you are not Free enough*
*Liberate yourself again*
I wrote that my second month at a world-class mental institution
Hard walls contained a room full of people with soft hearts
Bruised and sore from the traumas that came before
Those were the friends in the milieu mix from whom I gained perspective
I received a letter, upon leaving the critical unit, from one Brandon
*“I know you will find a place of belonging somewhere*
*I know not when, but know that one of those places is here within my
heart.”*
Nurses, too, with their unconditional positive regard, and social workers
Restored my faith in humanity
The path through the hospital had obstacles, and there were riddles to be
solved
The riddles of my own heart, webs weaved by traumas that informed
maladaptive behavior
Trauma had made me afraid and angry and weary and sad
The difference in this hospitalization as to the former six
hospitalizations was this:
I entered with a commitment to joy and recovery and
Healthfulness unlike I’d ever known
I began to understand relationships, the importance of them
Assessing psychologist admonished me, “if you think life is about seclusion
and
Cerebral isolation, you’re freaking kidding yourself”
I was. I had been kidding myself a long time, and with regards to
relationships
I had a lot of work to do, and Relationship is All
Leaving the hospital with all the attachments I made there I grieved
Soon I arrived where my body was, though, which was in a recovery community
In New England, where new relationships were born and built
I felt held and comforted as I began my new journey to health and wellness
With a team of recovery clinicians and specialists, I was surrounded
By people who were trained in the areas of compassion,
Skillful conversation,
Gentleness of approach
Their well-chosen words and life-giving presence met me
And my trauma
And psychotic thinking
Head on.
Relationship with healthy compassionate individuals can heal anything
I’m convinced
Because now I am employed
I am independent financially
I tend to a household
I’ve had a partner and other outside of recovery relationships
I have a community of friends
I have healthy relationships with my family
It’s true.
Recovery is resiliency, indeed
There are glitches, but now are not irresolvable
And in relationships, glitches are not irreparable
Joy, Recovery, Resiliency, Grace, Gratitude, and Love
The first writing I did at the hospital began thus,
*Take heart, Little One, Love loves you. *
*Love brought you Here, and Love will carry you along*
* *
How true, my friends in recovery, is Love
As true as you believe your heart to be
For to the extent you see beauty, you are.
And to the extent you see your health in recovery
You can attain the life you dream to live.
The Anthem of My Survival
By Cheryl Harwood Bell
"So it was: Persistent nightmares triggered vividly disturbing
thoughts,
Falling , Falling...deep into the dark abyss I was caught.
Unrelenting anguish...fear enveloped me like roaring thunder;
Inundated what was once was quiet, peaceful slumber.
Feeling utterly cast aside ~ losing heart, losing hope.
Frightening desperation ~ could not think, could not cope.
Where was the passion for living once felt?
Like ice, beneath the sun, it had begun to melt.
Glaring daylight spilled across the cold, tile floor;
But did not brighten the room anymore.
While shattered pieces of broken dreams,
were scattered beneath flesh's torn up seams.
Aching wretchedness spoke of blame,
Condemnation screamed my name!
And, Then... Time...Time...Merciful,Precious Time.
Time has brought me to a different day ~~~
Time to refresh, time to reflect, to regroup, renew, and restore.
Time walks me through what was once a bolted, locked door.
And more time passes, the seasons change,
My spirit awakens, I am never the same!
Always by my side, the guardian angels,my friends and family
Helping to breathe love, the true breath of life, back into me.
Yes, the hours of my grief
Shall indeed become brief
With the singing banshee belting out the sweet & sour notes of the
anthem of my survival,
Soothing my very being; this time ~ This day is my arrival!
Today is here, circling and swirling through the shadows of my light;
There is no more need for chase, no more need for fight
Deep healing continues as wellness takes hold;
I now know real laughter, pure joy - a true sight to behold!
We have only this minute to enjoy all that life holds in it ~
And this moment belongs to me! ~ ~ ~"
Puzzle pieces
By Kelly King
I was drowning... Then I taught myself to swim.
I was falling.... and I grabbed the edge.
I couldn't breath... I found someone to teach how to inhale.
I couldn't stop crying... Then I ran out of tears.
I could not see.... Then he ask me to open my eyes.
I could not hear anything.... But everyone begged me to Listen.
I was lost... so I looked for directions..
I didn't know who I was... so I took lot of pictures.
I was confused about who I was... So I starred at those pictures.
I wasn't happy with what I saw... So change my point view.
I couldn't believe it was O.K.... so I didn't.
I got sick of hiding... so I stopped.
I was finally ready to confess ...
I am safe.... but I have been thru hell.
Guess Who’s The Hero
Christopher Lee
I woke up this morning and I put my feet on the floor. I then staggered to the bathroom door.
I looked into the mirror and who do you think I see, staring back at me?
Not Hulk Hogan, Jake the Snake or Mohammed Ali. It was the hero who lies within me.
I showered and shaved, got dressed and had my favorite breakfast foods I always crave.
Before I face the day I brush my teeth, take my medication and spend a few minutes in meditation.
Now I leave for my apartment to walk to the elevator, I think to myself…I’m not captain Kirk or Darth Vader. But if symptoms of mental illness invade my life today, I will eliminate them by coping. I am determined to make them go away.
Mighty Mouse and Under Dog may save the day. But there’s a hero within me, who shouts out “Depression be slain!”
Now the day has come to an end and before I say good night my friend. I take my night time meds and hop in the bed. And as I marvel and look up at the moon and starlight, I give thanks to the man above for granting me insight. For I can clearly see…it’s not Batman, Superman, or Spiderman. Yes, you have guessed it. The mighty courageous hero is the hero inside of me. And you too can find the hero in you!
My name is Chris and this I say. I truly believe that through healing and recovery I am on my way. I salute the hero within me and each and every day. So trust in what I’ve shared with you that is not a lie. There is definitely a hero within you. Goodbye.
Wellness
By Dalia Matthew
Wellness begins from the heart, mind, and soul.
Sometimes it’s hard to do some of those things, but it can be done.
Sometimes wellness begins with the sun, wind and even when it rains.
Can you have the strength to find or to give in.
Do not fall down and do not turn around.
Sometimes all it takes is a sign from above.
And sometimes there is no wellness.
Sometimes all you can do is depend on yourself.
But most of all, do not give up on yourself.
Wellness wellness
Fight fight
Stay strong!
Love yourself a little more
Pat yourself on your back
Wellness
Do not cry
Sing with joy
Laugh a little!
Wellness
Even when it’s hard to move around
Even when you feel down and can’t get around
Wellness
Just turn around and smile
Wellness!
Skydiver
By Susanne Mills
I always remember hearing his echo
Never knowing it would be let go
Peace and quiet is what I have found
No longer listening to those anguishing sounds
FINALLY I am free.
Replaced my fears with clearer thoughts
A new experience for which I’ve fought
A power I didn’t know I possess
An unmeasured courage when I get stressed
I FINALLY am free.
I thought that I had achieved check long before this
Years of neglect that will not be missed
Fiercely grasping secrets from another day
And now I can stand firm and say
I am FINALLY free.
To find some solitude and leave
Hallucinations; I find slight reprieve
I take control, once and for all
I jump outward and enjoy the fall
I am free FINALLY.
Time Wasted
By Nancy Murray
I woke up one day, so much time gone by;
So many years spent living a lie.
Time I just waste, I can’t get it back;
How did I get, So far off of track?
So many dreams and plans I had made;
God gave me talent, had it made in the shade.
Pissing it off, day in and day out;
Losing it all, to fear and self-doubt.
So much time I have wasted,
But not anymore!
I promised myself to not waste a day,
wishing and hoping, and dreaming life away.
Instead I will focus, and I shall pursue,
Working and making my dreams come true.
Because in the end, at least I tried,
I’ll feel better this way.
Not sitting back letting time waste away!
Looking toward tomorrow and
Living Today!
SCHIZOPHRENIC SPECIES
By Jeffrey V. Perry
It is out of anguish that there is joy;
Out of hate we create love.
We know poverty because we know wealth.
It is out of emptiness that makes the room for bliss.
Out of our envy that we can understand God’s love;
Out of humility do we know of self?
It is the light in the darkness
That puts fear in the night.
It is the concern with wrong
That makes us stir right.
It is through blindness,
Why we love what’s bright.
And having it all,
Where, without truth we have lost sight.
When we face our adversary
Do we realize our might.
Peace is our first struggle
Yet, we must first fight!
We are a schizophrenic species!
We often go to forks in the roads,
Where one answer can determine
The virility burdened on our loads.
We stay wise,
As we stay foolish,
Yet, we leave all to fate.
Through our eyes
As we choose,
Again, our anguish, envy, emptiness, and hate
It is still amidst love
We must hope to create
In order to find the love of God,
As we seek out karmas as we wait.
RECOVERY
By Jennifer Randal-Thorpe
Look into the mirror what do you see ?
I see my reflection in this place
called recovery.
Recovery ? Yes, it 's a lifelong journey. Manic highs, depressed lows,
never know when the bolt of lightening will strike.
Been through many seasons, bipolar episodes, psychotic memories,
schizophrenic defenses, personality disorders, Axis I, Axis II just to name
a few.
I have realized that this is so true, illness does not discriminate. It
may hit you, your sister, your brother,mother, father, and your
mother-in-law too. If it were not for my King, I would never have bothered
to seek Him.
The shame of attempting suicide, that was me. I've thought of ending it
all, and falling deep. But suddenly, I take a look around, realize that i
must be lost, and I 've got to be found. Some say it is a wilderness, a
forest filled with trees each having a face in this roller coaster race.
Manic highs, depressed lows, I never know which way it will go. Is there a
solution ? Not necessarily. My final answer is but a way of means to
reality. Focus, share my feelings, and feel safe. No one said you have to
lose the race. Boundaries for me ! Don't cross my line or you will see,
how I can stand up for me ! I am not narcissistic that's just me. You see
I have come to the conclusion that if no one else considers me..........I
CAN, I WILL I MUST, I SHALL CARE ABOUT ME !!!!!!!!
Why Did They Act This Way
By Ralph Rogers
Most of our time together was filled
With unhappiness and despair
As we stepped on each others feelings
Like we didn’t even care
Even our best days usually never
Came out right
We always seemed to find a way
To argue, fuss, and fight
But along the way was born
Two packages of joy
One beautiful little girl,
And one bouncing baby boy;
But this didn’t change our
Attitude to try to make things right
We never changed our thoughts
Or patterns, we never saw the light;
We left our children to suffer,
and our families to feel the pain,
The only thing we reached for
Was our own selfish little gain;
When our kids were taken from us
We still didn’t have a clue,
We worried more about getting even
And trying to keep the feud;
You would think two people
Could find a better way,
Instead of letting their kids lives erode,
With each and every passing day;
There was a moment when
They could’ve brought the feud to an end
A point in time not so long ago
But neither one would bend;
As time passed away
We did not seem to care
The only thing that changed
Was the color of our hair
Now the kids have grown
But their pain lingers on
From something they don’t understand
If mom and dad did love us
Why didn’t they at least
Hold each other’s hand?
Even when sober, no kind words
Did they say
Could someone please tell us –
If they loved us;
Why did they act this way??
Where Icarus Flew
By Ken Paul Rosenthal
I stood on the bridge
I howled at the stars
Tried to deposit my madness
In a bank of fog
Tried to navigate between
My brilliance and my blues
In the space where Icarus flew
In the space where Icarus flew
I'm porous and plastered
And split to the core
I’m wired to the manic static
I’ve hit transparent doors
I lingered in the labyrinth
‘Cause I didn’t have a clue
In the space where Icarus flew
In the space where Icarus flew
They say you gotta write
Or be written upon
Seems no can read me
Seems I’ve become withdrawn
I broke the holey tablets
That cure was much too cruel
In the space where Icarus flew
In the space where Icarus flew
I walk into the fire
I run from the rain
The world says I'm crazy
But the world's insane
Wings of wax can melt
And wings can be renewed
In the space where Icarus flew
In the space where Icarus flew
Gravity, gravity
Pounding on trees
I’ll unscrew my downward spiral
With the tools god’s given me
With a pen and a paintbrush
And a map that I drew
In the space where Icarus flew
In the space where Icarus flew
The eye of a hurricane
Is blind to its limbs
No medicine can levee
The storms that swell within
Got to roll with the tide
Got to rise with the moon
In the space where Icarus flew
In the space where Icarus flew
My candle burns at both ends
It will not last the night
It waxes as it wanes although
It gives a lovely light
Crooked and beautiful
It’s just my flickering mood
In the space where Icarus grew
In the space where Icarus grew
Crooked Beauty: www.crookedbeauty.com
Mad Dance: A Mental Health Film Trilogy website:
www.maddance-amentalhealthfilmtrilogy.com
Sticks and Stones
By Michael Siena
Sticks and stones may break our bones,
And names may tear the fibers of our hearts.
Worries and doubts may disturb our minds,
But we need not fracture into broken pieces and shattered parts.
Because no matter how wracked with pain or how hurt or scared we may be,
Inside of us shines an imperturbable spirit even if it’s something we can’t see.
It may be covered up by confusion or by fear or by anger or by shame,
But it can never be destroyed, and it exists inside of you and me just the same.
So the next time you face something that you’re sure you can’t survive,
Remember that you’ve survived every experience you’ve had so far in the time you’ve been alive.
That shining spirit inside of us, of which you may not even know,
Has brought you this far in life and is with you wherever you go.
Dancing in the Moonlight
By Lauren Spiro
Letting myself go into a creative space is a portal to the divine. When I
let the divine in, creativity flows out. It blossoms in expression. I am
creator, follower, and student. When I am in this space there is no
separation between the Devine and I. I touch, and see, and taste the edges
of infinite possibilities. It is a timeless place and other travelers leave
their wake, their spirit, their wisdom and knowledge. And I sense it and
let it in, embracing me and fueling the flame of the creative process that
is so much more than a creative process.
And when I go deeper into this process, not knowing where I am or where I
am being lead, my being opens to the unknown. In those moments I am open to
guidance, to love, to seeing, tasting, feeling and being in a space and
time of oneness.
In the moments when I go over the edge, I am free. Creativity blossoms and
beautiful art manifests.
A Leap of Faith
By David Steingart
So I stand at the edge looking down in familiarity. I look down as far as I can see, below the fears, the hurt, the shortcomings, the broken hopes and dreams that swept away in the waves that crash into the shore in repetition, with a spray that lasts but a second before circling once again to join the ocean’s enormity, recycling back and back once more.
My head hangs down looking below my feet, to the shoreline where centuries of movement shows no stopping or moving backward, mountains of sand and rock climbing upward with vines of seaweed entangled strewn left and right. I see the past and I cannot fix the broken hearts or mend fences that are not mendable.
So I look up at the clouds, through the air and mist, at the sun that is so powerfully radiant. I feel the air blow through my hair, I close my eyes and for a moment my head is clear, forgotten is the world and all its mortal meanings of highways and street cars, and polluted air all these things we call progress that will be our legacy.
I look up again and I see only empty space and nothing more, no path and no road, no guide. Space for dreams and wishes and hopes. Time stands still reaching the parts of me that still need such reaching, re-claiming the parts of me that I had owned as a child when the world was an endless road of possibilities and fantasies.
It’s time to fly now as best I can, to take the leap and expose my anxieties with the hope of jumping forward not back, and finding no guide but myself.
The articulation of resilience
By Josi Stewart
It’s the beauty of getting up when you have fallen down,
The persistence of a smile where there used to be a frown
The trudging along, though the road is hard,
The healing of the soul from a jagged shard
The echo of laughter that outweighs the tears
The boldness it takes to conquer your fears
The simplicity of being yourself
And playing the cards that you are dealt
It’s striving to be the best you can be
It’s finding yourself in a calming sea,
Being okay with who you are
Knowing that you have come so far
It’s basking in the light when the darkness falls
Or following your heart when destiny calls
Not being too proud to admit that you’re weak
It’s going after what you seek
Finding your way home though the road is long
Finding resilience and standing strong
It’s speaking your mind when others disagree
It’s as beautiful as the changing leaves
It is advocating for what you know is right
For you know your voice is a beaming light
It’s forgiving instead of holding on
And never regretting what is gone
It’s knowing what you want and need,
It’s stepping forward and taking the lead
It’s inspiring all who upon you gaze
It’s keeping everyone amazed,
Of how truly brave you really are
Despite your wounds and visible scars
It’s holding hope for those who cannot
It’s all your discerning thoughts
It’s knowing you matter when no one else cares
When it seems your constantly sending s.o.s flares
It’s defeating all those negative thoughts,
That once kept your stomach tied up in knots
It’s your satisfaction of a job well done
And finding hope where there is none
It’s persevering through life’s curve balls
Coming out on the other side, standing up tall.
It’s Never lowering your head in shame
But making the best from your pain
It’s not caving in when it seems to tough
It’s carrying on although you’ve had enough
It’s all your achievements on display
It’s finding purpose within each new day
It’s your badge of honor from a war well fought
It’s giving your best and all that you’ve got
It’s being strong for those who are weak
Finding the words for those who can’t speak
It’s emerging from the darkness that once trapped you
And finding awe in something new
It’s never forgetting where you have been
But looking forward to where you might end
It’s finding yourself and who you were meant to be
It’s stretching as tall as a sequoia tree.
It’s finding comfort in those in your life,
The ones who have witnessed all your strife
It’s keeping the faith when you thought it was gone
It’s making your move like a knight on a pawn
It’s creating a story that is unique to you
It’s living in the moment all the way through
It’s the sunrise of your miraculous life
It’s healing from wounds that cut like a knife
It’s your story of courage and strength
And your desire to persevere at any length
It’s your life in present tense
It’s your determination and resilience.
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